................. sorry 

i just .... 

blah...............

that is all be well now everyone. i will eventually get back on here. just going through allot

[-tooken out-] 

I remember getting lost in the major city that one afternoon, during the times that every one rushed to get to their meetings, after school events, or dinner parties. I shouldn’t be lost in my home town but today it felt like I was. Everyone seemed to have bumped into me like I was a foreign that didn’t belong. I towered over them all in formal attire that I considered casual, maybe this is why I stood out. The air smelled of a million and one personality, some real and some fake.
If only they knew.
But I noticed something quite original in the setting sun, I had seen you. I could recall your golden bronze hair, sparkling hazel gold eyes, cherry lips, and glimmering bronze skin. You weren’t like any other out there. You wore a daisy yellow dress like the pixies wear in animations. You flaunted it quite well. You didn’t care that you had a little bit of extra weight on your height, because you knew it looked good on you. You knew what was happening when you altered your walk. You pawned the entire universal, my entire existence.
If only I knew.
When we crossed paths your feeble right hand slid past my chest, catching my attention. I turned in my walk until I was nearly walking backwards in the crowd. My hands held to my chest catching a slim piece of paper. You left me a small message saying, “Why hello there; Call me.” I stopped in the middle of everyone staring at the paper then towards the direction you were walking. I watched that daisy yellow dress become blurred into the city, alone, but never alone.
If only you knew.

Does it really have to be about this? 
Are you seriously going to throw yourself at me in fighting stances? 
I can’t comprehend what it is you’re jamming into my senses. 

Go ahead; jam harder, because that will do justice.
Well go on; rotate my world around the springs of your clock with my name on it.
Do me a favor and wined it until the configuration of it pops out of place.

Speed it up for me because sitting here is getting me nowhere.
Exhilarate it for me because what I have in mind would be a messy scene.
Yet you just stand there and sulk when you see me.

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx || Link to quiz

She did this MAIN PAGE :: HER RESULTS || and she found it interesting, so she to did it MAIN PAGE :: HER RESULTS || I found it pretty 'nifteh' so I did it too. This is what I got. What do you think? Well she thought it was pretty uncommon of a quiz  MAIN PAGE :: HER RESULTS || Don't you agree?

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you meet that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

It’s 3 AM central time here; I can’t really sleep after such a long night. After such long days these past few months, I find myself standing to a window and glaring out into the natural abyss. All of the lights were off, so the dreary effect played a major role in my mornings waiting for the next ‘event’ to come, to happen, to race my world in this same old directions.

Ever since I was a child, I could remember standing before a tall window, staring out into the active world that seems okay, but I knew it really wasn’t for the most part. No matter where my family lived, I would stand before a window, and do just this. A window is more so my room, my child hood place to hide away in. If I was told by ‘Mother’ to go to my room, I would go to a window and stand there. Of course this got me in trouble because the windows that I enjoyed and stared out of were never in my room. It’s almost odd how it is still that way, to this day.

As of now, my room is cluttered in books, paper, spirals, notebooks, and sketching books. I figured stacking them on the end tables will do justice on making me seem neat but it didn’t, and I didn’t care. I would only sit in my room if I had studying to do on whatever subject I choose to study.

My bathroom that hides in the hallway is too, cluttered, much like the many years ago; my bathroom would smell of fresh blood, peroxide, and unraveled bandage wraps. Only difference now, is that the blood I smelled was only 80% of mine, as for the other 20% was of some ones else’s. I tend to get myself in trouble no matter where I end up; maybe I wanted to be in such hard situations. I am, after all, used to being hurt in many ways —emotional, spiritual, physical— and along those basic lines.

I fight a lot on top of this, maybe I just need discipline, or maybe I just need to get my anger out from being disciplined to hard.

In the end I knew one thing, I was thirsty. Thirsty for a rush of bitter sweet exhilaration that blood gives and longing romance that only a loyal woman can hold. No, I am not a ‘vampire’ or a ‘demon’ from some bitter hells seeking blood and sex. I am just a normal human as any other human out there with a hectic life that urges.  But when all options have been marked out of the grid, what is there for me to do now? Try harder? Why? I recall I tried hard enough, and trying past the marker that drives most humans insane. And I have gone insane; it’s a ritual to me now. So I suppose I should say that I am the insane image most fear and run away from.

The Broken Truth.